How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
