there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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