It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
