Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
