lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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