I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
