I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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