this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
