In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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