last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
