tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
