well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize