I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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