dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
