im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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