biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize