The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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