Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
