i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize