Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
