Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
