cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize