You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize