sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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