are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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