so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
