Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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