just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
