4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
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FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
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I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
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