You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
