VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
