hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
