I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
