This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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