wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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