Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
lets start a swedish sibling band together
im holly from the hills drunk
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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