my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
do nipples grow back?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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