What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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