Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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