Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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