I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
