South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
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Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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