I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
be right there i have to get my cape
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
