sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Pappa wants mamma naked
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
