Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
