dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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