Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize