i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm