Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.