ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
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It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"