I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"