Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
