Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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