So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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