it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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