That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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