Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
