You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
