It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
